How to use silence to your advantage
I haven’t posted in a few weeks. There’s a simple reason for that: I didn’t feel I had anything to say.
I still feel that way, so today’s post will be brief.
Most contemporary writers don’t know how to shut up. Obsessed with building or keeping an audience, they post constantly—or, in the grip of narcissism, they think their every word is some kind of profound art that they must publish, as if compelled by a divine muse.
In writing and life, know when to keep quiet. Great pauses make great music.
In fact, silence is the topic of today’s quick meditation.
You don’t always have to be talking. You don’t always have to be writing.
Silence is restorative.
Actually, silence is power. It is a space that you control.
The quickest way to become a better speaker, for instance, is to stop saying umm and uhh, those little filler sounds we use when we’re groping for a word or phrase. Forget about accent or vocabulary: slow everything down and take pauses. Why not just stop talking while you’re searching? Why fill beautiful silence with nonsense? Are you afraid of silence? Of what someone might think of you if you’re not emitting random noises?
Try something different. The next time you’re talking to someone, replace every umm or uhh with a pause. It will be difficult at first because you’re so used to these linguistic bits of white noise. If you need time to think, take it. You’ll get used to it. This doesn’t mean speaking slowly, but it does mean speaking more precisely and deliberately.
This signals to the other person that you’re a careful, thoughtful speaker. You take your time. You’re in control of your thought processes. You feel no need to rush; you bend time to your will. This will be incredibly jarring to most people, who are used to hearing others rush through inarticulate jibberish. All of a sudden, here’s this person just taking his time.
They’ll find it new, refreshing…maybe even attractive. They’ll think you’re more intelligent, more confident, more valuable.
You’ll make them think all this by doing less, not more…simply by leveraging silence.
That’s it. See you soon.